It’s been a long day.

Recipe: Three Cs Salad

Sometimes cooking is the only thing that will do it for me. Cooking, creating, it’s all the same. I come home, and if the day has been long (especially if it’s been long!), I cannot wait to get my hands in the kitchen! I just get in the zone, and before you know it, I have three or four things on the go at once! I mean if the oven’s on anyway for those cookies, may as well roast some almonds for some almond butter! Or if the food processor is already dirty, what the heck—let’s make hummus! It doesn’t matter. My kitchen is where I ground myself. It’s where I mellow out, dabble, explore, create. If I’m sad, anxious, or restless, it is here where I just let go. It’s an act of pure flow. I’m not thinking, I’m not worrying, I’m focused. As you can see, I’ve been busy:

3 Cs: comfort meets colour meets crisp!

This cornbread bows to nobody’s jam!

This could be yours (if you own a ridiculous oversized donut mould!)!

So I’m just curious – where is it that you find your flow? What is your way of release or unwinding? How do you get lost in creativity? Just wondering…… Stay tuned for next week when the ever-amusing Eric Wang from healthdemystified treats us to a guest post (and recipe!)! Eric, by-the-way, recently added me to his list of Nine Rising Stars in the Health and Fitness Blogosphere. Check it out!  For now, I’ve posted my 3Cs salad recipe, pictured above. And no, this salad does not involve John Ritter. Enjoy!

3 Cs Salad

(serves 2)

2 cups red cabbage, sliced in food processor

1 cup carrots (sliced in food processor or cut thinly)

1/2 cup chickpeas (cooked and rinsed)

1/2 cup fresh dill (chopped)

1/2 cup fresh parsley (chopped)

1/2 tsp herbamare (herbed sea salt but regular sea salt will do)

juice of 1 lemon

1 tbsp olive oil

Directions: Heat a small amount of water (just enough to cover the bottom of the pan) over medium high heat. Add cabbage and cover for two minutes. Add carrots, and cover for 1-2 minutes more. Still want some crisp left in those Cs. Turn off heat, stir in chickpeas, herbs, salt and lemon juice. Drizzle with olive oil and serve. Simple but marvellous!

The Direct Route

Recipe: Platform-for-your-jam Corn Muffins

As odd as it may sound, a binge can often be the quickest way back to self-care. It’s the big white flag that waves “surrender!” It’s the moment where we decide to either continue shutting our self out, or to bring compassion to our self and our situation, and shift into curiosity.

Binge Road is not a dead-end street! If we’ve gone down Binge Road, there’s a reason why: we had to have been switched off enough that going into autopilot with our food didn’t even register. So while it would be great if it would register and we could course-correct before the damage was done (and all that remains is an empty cookie bag and a big bloated belly), the reality is that this isn’t always the case. When this happens, the next pivotal moment is how we respond.

You may have already written yourself off and decided you’re a failure (What’s the point? Why not keep eating? I can’t believe I did this to myself….AGAIN). Or maybe your mind is busy devising a strategy of how to counter the calories: No food until dinner? Laxatives? Two hours on the treadmill? But there’s always that THIRD option: the “love yourself through it” option. This is the one where you choose to cuddle up with yourself and stay present with your physical and emotional discomfort and ride it out. Because it passes—it does. It’s about saying, “Okay, this happened. What’s going on for me? Can I just be with it, breathe with it?” Think of the binge as your thru road home, your gateway back to safety.

I am not a “southern Belle.” I don’t have memories of waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of freshly baked “cornbread and beans” or of helping my grandma make her “special recipe.” In fact, I don’t think I’d ever even tried cornbread until I was well into adulthood. So don’t ask me WHY I’ve been craving the stuff like it’s going out of style….I decided to make cornbread muffins only to realize I was fresh out of cornmeal. “No problem,” I thought. “I’ll substitute with corn flour.” I made a few other modifications (see below) and popped them in the oven. It was only then that I started to google people’s horrendous experiences doing exactly that. “It will taste like a door stop” wrote one individual. And while I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, they are definitely a muffin you will want to eat slathered in Earth Balance and a lot of strawberry jam! But I actually like them–enough to post the recipe. The cornbread craving continues, but for now here’s a slightly plainer, denser version of a morning muffin. Think of them as a platform for your jam.

Platform-for-your-jam Corn Muffins

Modified from this recipe.

Ingredients

• 1 cup corn flour
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 2/3 cup applesauce
• 1/2 cup soy milk
• 3 tbsp agave nectar
• 1 tbsp canola oil

 Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2. Stir all ingredients together in a large bowl. Pour into a lined or greased muffin pan. Bake for 12 or so minutes, or until springy. I made about 8 small muffins with this recipe.
3. Serve with Earth Balance and a nice thick strawberry jam.

Wu-Wei, my friend, Wu-Wei.

Recipe: Unreasonably Large Peanut Buttery Cookies

Are you feeling freaked out right now? Does it feel like everything in your life is in flux and you’re grasping for solid ground? If so, you are not alone! Almost everyone I know, myself included, is being challenged in this way. So many people are changing jobs, moving, ending relationships, and making other life-changing decisions. We think that by engaging with the external and diving head-first into the frantic we can quell this restlessness. And what better circumstances than these to remind ourselves that when things feel crazy on the outside, we will be best served by turning INWARDS.

It’s this idea of non-action, or as Lao Tze (of TaodeJing fame) would say, “Wu-Wei.” Nothing outside of you will bring that inner peace you seek. If you don’t know what direction to go, nothing or no one can tell you. The guidance comes from within, and we can only hear it if we take the time to sit there, in our own stillness and silence, and listen. When you feel the pressure to act, bust out the “Wu-Wei” and DON’T. I don’t know what it is about us humans that makes us want to create more chaos in the midst of chaos, rather than take a time-out and assess our inner needs and the situation. Be wary of this tendency in yourself: if you find yourself turning to food (i.e., sugar), shopping, or general crazy-making, pull back! The energy right now is conducive to this, but you do not have to partake. In the midst of all of this uncertainty, awareness is absolutely key.

I posted about Dreena Burton’s Super Charge ME cookies a while back — which I love. But then I had these AMAZING peanut buttery, chocolate chippity cookies at this restaurant in Portland and was inspired to create replicas. Immediately. I used Dreena’s SCM recipe as my base and worked to produce what you see below. What I changed: more peanut butter, no oil, all oats, and whole peanuts. Oh, and apple sauce. Oh oh…and BIG. And don’t omit the peanuts. I made them the first time without and it’s just not the same.

 

Recipe: Unreasonably Large Peanut Buttery Cookies

1 cup oats
1 cup oat flour
1/4 tsp (rounded) sea salt
1/4 – 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 –1/3 cup raisins or chopped dried fruit
1/4 c peanuts
1/2 c chocolate chips
1 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup ground flax
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 tbsp apple sauce

Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C). In a bowl, combine dry ingredients (including chocolate chips, raisins and peanuts) and stir well. In a separate bowl combine the rest of the ingredients and stir until well combined. Add wet mixture to dry, and stir until just well combined. Use a silicone baking sheet or parchment paper. The key to these cookies is BIG. Spoon batter onto baking sheet evenly space apart, and lightly flatten. You will likely only get about 7-8 cookies if you go for the big guns. Bake for 15 minutes and remove to cool. I left mine on the sheet until they firmed up.

Trying times

Recipe: Pleasing Tomato Pesto Pasta

Do you say yes when you want to say no?

Do you invest more in people than you get in return (and then keep investing in those people)?

Do you over-identify with other people’s feelings, and take it upon yourself to look after them?

If you answered “yes” to two or more of the above questions, you might be a people pleaser—a phenomenon that involves a constant de-selfing process whereby we fail to vocalize our own needs for fear of hurting another person’s feelings and not being liked. But fear not, oh weary pleaser—there is help: YOU!!!

We typically fall into the people pleaser role when we fear not being liked and require the approval of others. But here’s something else I’ve noticed about us food-stuffers. Many of us are incredibly sensitive people. We are empathic and we often feel in ourselves what others are feeling around us (hence our ability to take such care in our dealings with others-—a lovely quality, by the way); it’s this heightened sensitivity in combination with our own insecurity that can create in us a misplaced sense of responsibility for a feeling we are experiencing/aware of that isn’t actually our own! We are not responsible for how others feel!

Awareness is key, so check in with yourself. It’s one thing to demonstrate caring and respect for others. It’s another thing if doing so is at the expense of your own inner truth and needs. As well, if there is a lack of reciprocation or you are not being met with respect, than it’s probably time to re-evaluate the dynamic of the relationship (and the relationship itself!). That means finding a balance between looking after your own needs and knowing what belongs to you, and what belongs to the other. You are absolutely worth showing up for! So keep showing up for yourself and hold out for those who authentically show up for you too. And just remember—you can’t please everyone! So just please you!

So I’ve been doing some cooking. Some baking. You know, stuff. One thing I made recently that I really enjoyed was a sundried and roasted tomato pesto zucchini pasta dish inspired by the pesto recipes of both Dreena Burton’s and Angela Liddon. The pesto is rather substantial, so I wanted to pair it with a veggie pasta (spiralized zucchini) to lighten it up a bit. I broiled up some broccoli and BAM – dish delish! 

Pleasing Tomato Pesto Pasta

4 tomatoes (roma or other) halved, drizzled with olive oil and roasted face down on baking tray for 1 hour at 400F

3/4 cup sundried tomatoes in oil

2 cloves garlic

1/2 cup toasted almonds

2-3 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 tsp agave nectar

1/2 tsp salt (or to taste)

pepper

1/2 tsp balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup fresh basil (I tried a version without it, and it was still nice)

For the pasta:

2 zucchinis, either peeled into stripped with a veggie peeler, or put through the spiralizer

1 head of broccoli

juice of half a lemon

1/2 tsp red chili flakes

Prepare the pesto by first putting the almonds through the food processor until crumbly and setting aside. Process the rest of the ingredients until smooth, then add the almonds in and pulse until mixed.

In a bowl, toss the broccoli with some olive oil, salt, and chili flakes. Broil for 5-7 minutes until slightly charred (watch carefully so they don’t burn!). Remove from oven and toss with lemon juice. Toss with desired amount of pesto and zucchini noodles. Voila!

Feelings: A Survivor’s Tale

Recipe: Bonzai Spelt Pilaf

A mentor of mine always says to “lean to into your learning” and I always feel like this wisdom can also be applied to our feelings: “breathe into your feelings.” Whatever is there, the breath will take you into a deeper, richer experience – it will take you to a place of surrender, to the flow of your feelings, and ultimately, to your learning.

I like to think of the experience of our feelings much the like sediment at the bottom of a river: Rapids can stir it up and sometimes we have to allow ourselves to be swirled about. Once we move through the rough current (Breathe deep!), our feelings start to settle; clarity arrives, and we can once again see our way to the surface and make sense of what just happened to us. But we have to trust we will be okay (aka SURVIVE!), be present, and breathe our way through.

Now, a little piece of advice from a survivor of a recent emotional pummeling: to be clear, this “feeling our feelings” business is certainly not an enjoyable process. Satisfying and triumphant at the end, yes. Enjoyable? That’s a stretch– I hated every grueling and unpleasant moment of it! But hating the experience was also part of the experience; I gave myself permission to hate feeling my feelings. I acknowledged that I hated it, then proceeded to hate every second! It’s when we resist our experiences that we get caught up in the snags and start creating side stories about what’s going on – instead of just having a really uncomfortable feeling, we start to attached a story to it (I’m fat, I ate too much X so I’m a bad person vs. I have a really uncomfortable feeling right now and it really sucks!). If hating your feelings happens to be part of your experience, live it out honestly. Validate it for yourself, and I assure you that you’ll move through it with a lot more grace than you ever knew you had! Whatever way you find to be present for yourself and your emotions, breathe through. It won’t last forever. It will pass. Go spend time with the discomfort: breathe into your feelings and you will survive!

Unfortunately, not all of us live to tell a survivor’s tale….poor almonds….

 

But this recipe? A hit! This is comfort food at its best! I cannot take credit for this recipe, but I can take credit for devouring eating it and loving every bite! It’s a hearty nourishing dish that uses whole spelt berries cooked at a very low temperature for an hour or so; it turns out as more of a pilaf or risotto with so much flavour! Plus, what’s not to love about spelt berries. They are high in protein, they can hold their own in a pot (they don’t become mush like barley or rice) and they have a lovely chewy texture. Hmmmm hmmmm.

Bonzai Spelt Pilaf

1 cup spelt, rinsed (and pre-soaked in 2 cups of water for a few hours if possible)
3/4 cup canned crushed tomatoes
2/3 cup water (more if needed)
1 small zuchini, sliced
1/2 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 can black beans
1/2 tsp sea salt or to taste
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp rosemary
2 tbsp olive oil
pepper

Rinse spelt and add to a large pot. Heat olive oil over medium heat and brown spelt with onions, garlic and spices. Add beans and zucchini, cook and stir. Add water and tomatoes, stir, cover and simmer for 1 hour on low heat. Stir periodically and add more water if it looks dry. Bonzai!

When those cookies come a’calling

Recipe: The “Tofu Layer” for OSG’s Lasagna

“Oh yooo hoooo…..over heee-eeeere!!!”

I try not to focus too much on food behaviours on this blog, and that’s because so little of why we eat actually has to do with food! But I did think it was time for a reminder that bringing consciousness to how or what we are eating can be an important source of information about what is going on for us emotionally. I’ve had a couple of moments this last week where I came home, felt tired, and wanted a big bowl of cereal to eat or a few cookies (oh yooo hoooo!) rather than a proper dinner. It was one of those times when a bowl of cereal wasn’t just a bowl of cereal. I wanted to sit with my food and find comfort in my “fullness.” Did I know I was using food for comfort? Yep. Did I want to stop? Not ‘til that bowl of cereal was gone!

The thing about developing awareness around our food is that we kinda have to ask some questions, and the more we ask them, the harder it becomes to engage in the behaviour. Whether I ate the cereal or not was irrelevant. I knew I still needed to reflect about what was going on for me and acknowledge that something was. If you are feeling clueless about why you are reaching for food, I can say that for me in many (but not all) instances, it’s often about feeling powerless or not heard. Either I’m not validating my own feelings, or I’m not using my voice to express them. Or, I have used my voice and still don’t feel heard, and need to make an adjustment to a given relationship (which could incite avoidance, dread or other forms of resistance, and possibly another bowl of cereal!).

So what’s going on for you? It’s time to have a check-in and bring some consciousness to what you are experiencing. It’s time to go inside and listen. Ask some questions. Hold a compassionate loving space for yourself, free from judgement or pressure for things to be anything other than what they are. Are your reasons for going for the food the same as mine? If not, what is it about for you?

I could be a brat and post a cookie recipe. But instead, I’m going to write about lasagna. Or I’m going to post a yummy photo and direct you to a great recipe. Angela Liddon’s recipe surpassed my vegan lasagna expectations and will not dissappoint. While she suggests adding a layer of crumbled veggie burger, I added some crumbled tofu that I marinated overnight. So as my meager contribution to this already stand-up recipe, I offer “the tofu layer.” Behold:

To All Yee Yay-Sayers

Recipe: Tofutti-Less Cream Cheese Icing

You may only get one shot at it, so you may as well be you. As I prepare to turn 30, I reflect on the ways I still say yes when I want to say no or when I silence a preference or opinion for fear of creating discomfort –  luckily I can say that happens less and less the older I get, but it still happens. All that “yay-saying” creates anger and resentment, and before we know it, we find ourselves seething at something (or someone!) totally unrelated! The resentment from our yay-saying ways can often mutate into passive aggressive behaviour as we struggle to regain the power we gave up when we didn’t give voice to our truth.

Do you think you could ask for what you want 100% of the time? Whether you get what you want 100% of the time isn’t the point. The point is that you think your needs and wants are worth advocating for and that they are important, that YOU are important. Even when someone tells us “no,” we are left empowered as we decide what that information means for us. It’s a win-win, really. With nothing to lose, are you still not going to ask for what you want?

Icing!! I want icing!! I like to have my cake, yes – but really, I just like my icing. People who have known me for years will know that it’s not uncommon to find me hunkering down at the end of the dinner table with a small piece of my favourite cake under an avalanche of icing (or a bowl of icing on the side!). Not cheap, hydrogenated icing, mind you – nay, I’m more interested in the cream cheesey icings of the world. I’ll have dairy cream cheese occasionally, but I have often used Tofutti, a soy vegan substitute. The problem with Tofutti is that it costs around $5 for a little tub: it was becoming harder and harder to afford to have my icing and eat it (mass -quantity-style) too! This is precisely why I came up with this recipe!

On Neutral Ground

Recipe: Angela Lidden’s Sticky Toffee Pudding (say what!?)

What does it mean to be in one’s neutral mind? I busted myself the other day pulling the neutral mind card: falling into the belief that being in one’s neutral mind means not reacting, maintaining composure, and “rising above” those inconvenient and uncomfortable  emotions that blindside us when we least expect it. In other words, my finger was hovering dangerously close to the old NUMB button! Similar to a spiritual bypass, thinking about the neutral mind in this way can pull us out of our authentic human experience in much the same way.

In our desire to achieve a neutral mind, we might deny, suppress, or otherwise numb ourselves to our feelings in the name of higher spiritual ground. In doing so, however, we halt the authentic flow of our process. So how can we hold a neutral mind and honour our emotions? Awareness. Did you know I was going to say that? The neutral mind is not about numbing out to our emotional experience. It’s about cultivating a non-judgmental (i.e., neutral) allowance of it and letting it run its natural course. It’s an opening up to flow, not a shutting down or damming up of what is. It is in this awareness, in saying “yes” to each moment as it presents itself, that grace is found. And besides all that, who wants to be a stone anyway?

The word “pudding” conjures up different associations for all of us. It could be the overly sweet chocolate Jello pudding pack your dad used to put in your school lunches without a spoon to eat it with (thanks, Dad!). It could be the rum-laden raison infested dense cake your grandma sets on fire after every Christmas dinner.  Or it could be, it just might be, the single most yummiest dessert you’ve ever tasted when you put the words “StickyToffee” in front of it. I decided to try out Angela’s recipe on 12 non-vegans last week and the table went wild; it was a show-stopper to say the least. A caramelly, moist, warm, gooey, cakey conglomerate nestled up beside a cold scoop of melty ice cream, drizzled with toffee sauce and finished with a sprinkling of toasted pecans. Need I say more? I don’t think that sentence could get any longer. I made a few changes to Angela’s recipe, such as subbing spelt flower and using a mix of brown sugar with raw cane sugar (simply because I ran out of brown sugar), but I think you’d be hard pressed to screw up this cake as its moistness lends itself to a large margin of delicious error.

Deduce, you say?

Recipe: Roasted Garlic Babaganoush

I had the pleasure of meeting someone over a month ago, whose humility and grace remains with me still. A fellow traveler on the road of self love, she asked the question “why is it that we are so quick to believe the negative things people say about us and so quick to write off the positive ones?” Like a detective looking for clues, we collect the evidence that supports our beliefs.

It got me thinking, not just about what I’m quick to believe about myself without evidence to back it up, but what I’m quick to believe about others as well. I was recently humbled when I indirectly implicated an acquaintance for something of mine that had gone missing, only to find the very object in question amongst my things minutes later. Rather than take some time, examine the evidence, and then form a conclusion, my mind instantly jumped to think the worst about that person. I felt horrible.

If we give others, as well as ourselves, the benefit of the doubt and allow for human fallibility or a simple misinterpretation of facts, we find we become much more conscious and neutral in how we approach such matters. When we can hold this space, we treat unsubstantiated beliefs with compassion. When all of the evidence eventually comes to light, this consciousness enables us to evaluate with clarity and choose our actions and our words with care.

What assumptions are you making, both about yourself and of others? Are you collecting objective facts, or are you jumping to a belief and looking for the evidence that supports that belief? Take time to consider where your mind wants to go and open it up for other truths to present themselves.

I like hummus, this is true. But give me babaganoush and the scale is instantly tipped! We had the ingenious idea to have a Mediterranean night, and so I of course got busy on this creation, which was voted “the best babaganoush of my life” by those seated ’round the table!

Roasted Garlic Babaganoush

2 medium eggplants

1 head of garlic

1/2 cup tahini

juice of two lemons

2 tsp sea salt

2 tbsp olive oil + drizzle for garlic

dash of chili powder

dash of cumin

1. Poke holes in your eggplants with a fork and roast for 1 hour at 350 degrees, until collapsed. At the same time, slice off the top of the head of garlic, place it over foil, and drizzle with olive oil.  Wrap foil around garlic and roast with the eggplant (about an hour).

2. Once done, allow garlic to cool, then squeeze out the goods. In a food processor, add the eggplant (I like mine skin and all, but you could just scoop out the pulp) and garlic, and blend together with the rest of the ingredients. Do not add more than a pinch of cumin, or its flavour will dominate. Remove and refrigerate until serving. Adjust salt to taste, but babaganoush should be on the saltier side.

Hold Me: In the Arms of Mother India

As much as we think we can or ought to “do it on our own” – sometimes we can’t. Sometimes we need to accept the love and care of another. In fact, we must count ourselves so very blessed to have such people in our lives. I have just spent the last few days very ill, and if it wasn’t for the assistance of my dear friend and travel companion, I don’t know what I would have done. Oddly enough, at this very moment, I am crying in a sleeping car at 3 in the morning on the way to Agra, feeling absolutely sick to my stomach, and missing my grandparents like crazy.

Some of us may be the nurturers to those in our lives, We are the people others turn to for comfort and reassurance that everything will be okay. We may forget what it feels like to have a mothering source of our own. We can surrender that role and allow ourselves to be nurtured. I have never been in a situation before where I had to be so dependent upon one person. I am so touched by such unconditional, reassuring, unselfish giving that my friend has imparted to me. I’m sure to her, this is just what friends do, and I am humbled further. Not only that, but in India, everyone is your mother. If you are sick, everyone knows you are sick. Even the touts don’t approach you, and all the ladies (and the men) offer their advice for recovery, check up on you in the night, pinch your cheeks, etc; there were many caring people who extended themselves in one way or another. I guess sometimes we need to be in a position where we are forced to surrender to the care of another. Even just knowing that someone cares for you, albeit near or far, is a beautiful thing. Give thanks for your care circle, both immediate, and the one that sends you the people and the circumstances you need at exactly the moment you need them.

There’ll be no food talk today, I’m afraid. I can’t even stand the thought of food, let alone approach the idea of cooking with any sort of enthusiasm. Stay tuned for when my appetite comes back cause I’m gonna be HUNGRY!! Like ANIMAL! xoxo