[Fore]Gone Conclusions

Recipe: Baked Apples with Cinnamon Cashew Cream

Just as we have our stories, we also have our endings. Many times we expect certain outcomes before they’ve even happened. Or we may react the same way to the same situation every time, and then be upset with ourselves in the same way for doing so. Our beliefs and actions can sometimes be so ingrained in us that we operate without recognizing that we have other options; it never occurs to us that there could be a different outcome to the same story, or better yet, a free fall – a complete surrender to what is real and true for you in that moment.

Say, for example, that every time you get together with certain individuals, you overeat and then you come home at the end of the evening and binge. This social scene isn’t really a “fit” for you, you feel inadequate, or are being triggered in some other way. As you sit there with these people, all you can really think about is what you are going to be eating once you step foot inside your house. And when you do finally come home, you go into autopilot and the night ends up with you feeling even worse about yourself….again.

Or, let’s say you go out and treat yourself to a massage or a yoga class, but rather than coming home and feeling good in your body and tucking yourself into bed, you come home and have a binge instead. This is because your story doesn’t involve you allowing yourself to feel good – this ending never even occurred to you. The only ending you know is the one that keeps confirming your story (i.e., “I’m fat,” “I have X eating disorder,” “I’m in some way not okay”).

What if we turned our stories into our very own “Choose Your Own Adventure” and we tried to visualize a different outcome to the usual way our predictable stories play themselves out? What if we went down a different path, and experienced a different outcome/reality?

With the above example, for instance, I might think about what a nice night at home after a massage might look like. It might involve curling up with a book and a cup of tea. Or a hot bath. Or maybe just hopping straight into bed, snuggling up under the covers. Can you picture it? We can’t always change our outcomes over night, but we can began to consider the possibility that we can live it out a different way. Even just this simple exercise of visualizing ourselves responding differently can plant a seed of what is possible for you and challenge your beliefs and behaviours around your current experiences. Give it a go and see what kinds of amazing conclusions you can fathom.

Baked Apples – who knew?? I have been baking apples straight for the last week. I love apple pies, crisps, crumbles – but after baking apples and letting the apples stand on their own, all that doe, sugar, and Earth Balance just seems unnecessary. Something happens in that baking process: some might call it “caramelization,” but I call it magic. The apples turn super sweet, which makes them not only a delicious dessert, but a fantastic sweetener to blend into puddings, spreads, and baking (also great for rounding out texture too!). Here’s one way I’ve been enjoying my baked apples lately, but there are many more which I hope to post about soon. By the way, pears are just as amazing!

Letting the Belly Breathe

And by breathe, I mean “let it out!” – breathe into it, feel its natural expansion, then exhale and feel it return to the spine (unless you’ve just had two servings on pancakes for breakfast, in which case it might just stay expanded – gulp!).  This exercise is a particularly interesting one because it suddenly makes us very aware of how many of us hold our bellies in MOST OF THE TIME!

I’ve written about the jewels of action and empowerment that reside in the third chakra treasure chest and the need to strengthen and project from a strong naval. The breath is part and parcel with this. We might think our bellies are strong when we suck them in (because flat = six pack or something like that) but our belly strength actually comes from the prana or life force that we allow into it and the rest of the body. You know all of those marvelous statues of the first goddess deities? Well they weren’t sporting six packs! Probably the first thing you would have noticed is that they have full, voluptuous bellies – and I’d make a small wager they were pregnant with prana and co-creative action, breathing their way into being via the navel in each moment.

It makes me wonder: if we gave ourselves permission to breathe into our bellies, and gave our bellies permission to be themselves in their natural state of expansiveness, would we be better able to tune into our feelings of hunger and fullness? If we live with the belly at “half-mast” as it were, we aren’t really letting our belly say its piece (and so we supplement with another piece  –of pie, that is). That belly breath is oh-so-important. I often find myself starting class with a simple breath that involves placing one hand on the belly (see goddess in photo!) and the other on the heart. Just having that physical contact of the hand on the belly brings us to awareness, and at the same time, we can replace the judgement we might otherwise direct at our round, full bellies with the compassion we connect to with the hand that is on the heart. Full belly living! So give belly breathing a try the next time you catch yourself holding in your stomach and give birth to your true, divine goddess self.

I have been cooking like a crazy woman these last few days. I had an influx of fresh fall veggies and have been hitting up some old favourites: AJ’s Marinara (to top spaghetti squash), my favourite PPK beet soup, steamed leeks drizzled with olive oil….all that to say, nothing new to report! Have fun with the tastes and smells of the season and let me know if you craft something amazing!

Feeling the Hunger

Recipe: Peanut Passion Ala Noods and Greenery

Whatever it is that drives us to our “fix” of choice is actually our gold mine. We just have to decide that we are going to hit up the dark cave, and not board up the entrance and stay in the comfortable place of our neurosis.

Deciding to sit with our “hunger” is two-fold. It requires us to withhold judgement of ourselves (i.e. you are not a bad person for wanting to eat x,y, z or smoke that cigarette. Nor is there something fundamentally wrong with you!), and maybe even show ourselves kindness and acceptance if we have nailed up a board or two. Secondly, it’s helpful if we refrain from getting caught up in the “why” of where we’re at. Going into analytic mode only impedes us from connecting to the core of our experience, from really finding the gold in it.

So, you want to go deeper? Try this: The next time you feel that wave of anxiety, discomfort, emotion — whatever it is for you — put one hand on your belly, and the other on your heart, and breathe. Close your eyes and breathe in deep. Allow that hunger to be filled and satiated with prana, or life force, and stay with your breath. With the hand on your belly, feel the belly become pregnant with ever-giving, ever sustaining prana. With the other hand, become aware of the emotion as it is physically expressed in the heart. Embrace your experience, allowing whatever you find there to just be exactly as it is. To start, try for five long, deep breaths. As you begin to experience this connection as your home coming, you may want to hang out there for longer.

With every occurrence of our hunger, we can decide to do what we’ve always done…..or, we could go deeper. Your call.

I don’t make it a secret that I like peanut butter. It is arguably one of the most versatile foods on the planet. It can be breakfast, lunch, dinner, or (or in my case, AND) dessert. It’s wonderful salty or savoury. And it’s filling and nutritious. What more could you want? I mean, really. When I saw Dreena’s recipe for Peanut Passion Sauce (from Eat, Drink and Be Vegan) I immediately bookmarked it. I’ve only just recently actually “executed” the sauce. I’ve included her recipe below and the little salad number I drenched with it.

Peanut Passion Ala Noods and Greenery

Sauce

1/2 cup peanut butter

3 tbsp tamari

1 tbsp ginger

2 cloves garlic

1/8 tsp sea salt

1/8 crushed red pepper flakes

2 tsp lime juice

3 1/2 tbsp lime juice

2 1/2 tbsp agave nectar

1 tbsp sesame oil

coconut, water, soy or almond milk to thin to desired consistency

Salad

1/2 package rice vermicelli

1/4 cup fresh basil

1/4 cup cilantro

1/2 red pepper, sliced into long strips

1/2 cucumber, juliened into matchsticks or spiralized

1/4 red onion very thinly sliced

chopped peanuts (for garnish)

Combine all of the sauce ingredients and blend in food processor until smooth. Soak noodles in hot water for 5 minutes, rinse under cold water and set aside to dry. Chop remaining veggies. Portion out noodles, top with sauce and above veggies. To finish, sprinkle with peanuts.

Upon Reflection

Recipe: Crispy Saged Gnocchi with Squash and Brussel Sprouts

One of the five sutras for the Aquarian age in Kundalini yoga is to “recognize that the other is you.” If we think about this, this hold so much truth! We are so quick to blame and criticize those in our lives, when really, if we’re honest with ourselves, it’s often a case of “you spot it, you got it”! This can be a particularly important thing to remember as we enter into prime time with the family, which for many of us, means a whole lot of button pushing and potential triggers into our old familiar ways of coping (helllllloooo ginger cream cookies!).

However, there is another side to this equation. How are other people treating you? And what does this tell us about how we are treating ourselves? How we let others treat us is always a direct reflection of how we treat ourselves. How can we solicit the respect we deserve if we don’t first respect ourselves? You need to go to bat for you! If someone’s behaviour towards us is hurtful, we need to step up and let that person know what is and is not okay.

And finally, are we getting what we put into our relationships? I recently read a fantastic quote: “Never make someone your priority when you are only their option.” So if you are not feeling that a certain relationship in your life is reciprocal, it’s perhaps time to reevaluate that relationship in your life.

We ARE worthy of loving, supportive relationships in our lives and this might mean making some changes and “defriending” (to use a facebook term) a few people who aren’t able to provide those things.  And if it’s family we are dealing with, then remembering that “the other person is you” can help us to have compassion for that person. In both cases, YOU get to establish the boundaries and terms that feel good to you! So over the next few weeks, practice using others in your life to get valuable information about yourself, and to create and nurture the kind of relationships you want in your life — including the one you have with yourself!

Okay, okay – you know it, I know it — I love gnocchi. And after a little seasonal dish I whipped up, I love it even more. This is so simple, but oh-so-good. 

Lighten Up

Recipe: Vegan Spaghetti and Meat Balls fit for a 3 year old

Is it just me, or does everything feel SO SERIOUS lately? I’ve been carrying around some heavy feelings and weighty decisions – and when I showed up to yoga class yesterday, I was fully expecting the “sigh and cry” experience I wrote about last week. Boy did I so not get that! What I got instead was a class full of smiles and laughter – and it reminded me that life’s not meant to be taken so seriously!

Many of us live in our ego place for much of the time. We feel like if we don’t take ourselves seriously, then the world and the universe won’t either. So we berate and shame ourselves for the slightest mistake, and spend so much energy worrying about what other people think about us; we worry about looking “foolish” or “fat” or “weak”. But truth be told, as a dance instructor once told me, “what other people think about you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” This is why we practice Kundalini Yoga with our eyes closed! It’s about YOU, not about the person on the mat beside you. And if it’s any consolation, judgement on the part of any one else towards you is a manifestation of that person’s own feelings of inadequacy, so pity the poor soul and wish him or her love!

Life doesn’t have to be so hard! I’m not saying it’s always easy either, but if you are experiencing resistance, allow it, take a step back and look at what it’s trying to tell you. Then laugh. What power does the ego have over us if we are able to lovingly laugh at ourselves? Find your perspective. Find your FUN!

I had a three year old that needed to be fed spaghetti and “meat” balls, so I took last week’s turkey love recipe to a whole new level and crafted some very tasty vegan meat balls. The best part about this recipe is how well it holds together. The recipe is more or less the same, just a few additions – but with some yummy tomato sauce and a plate of your favourite spaghetti, this dish provides every comfort available on a plate! 

Permission to Process (please!)

Recipe: Thanksgiving in a Bite

We are always told we must take care of ourselves first. No problem! I’ve got my morning yoga practice, I drink my healthy green smoothie, and then I run around like a chicken with its head cut off and somehow still think I will have time for emotional processing. It’s all good, after all I’m taking care of myself right? It’s really easy to go through the motions and convince ourselves we’ve got it “under control.” And it’s funny how that last one (that’s right, the one involving feeling and emotions) seems to be the first to get bumped off the “to-do” list! But isn’t that the most central part of taking care of ourselves? Tapping into our feelings and so we can then give our inner self what it needs?

Going to that “place” isn’t always the most appealing option, particularly when there’s a house in need of cleaning, a dog in need of walking, or kids in need of feeding. Even when we mentally put it on the list, the aforementioned can easily crowd out our good intentions. That’s why we need to make room for our internal space on our external schedule. Having a penciled-in time to process can be the one point of sanity and/or grounding in an otherwise tumultuous or emotionally charged day, and that often requires going beyond ourselves and reaching out to find that physical space. Sometimes we need someone or something to help us get there.

For me, that space is a yoga class. No matter how run off my feet I may feel in a day, the moment I walk into a class, sit down and come into my body, I release a huge sigh of relief as my emotions finally have a chance to surface and be released. I find a good therapist can also do that for me. Any situation that holds a space for us to process and gives us permission to release helps us to re-align with our inner selves and keep us in the flow. You’ll know you’ve found this space when you feel like you’ve come home, when you feel you are free to be who you are, as you are. What or who holds that space for you?

I found this recipe on a blog under the name “Vegan Turkey Breasts” – but this recipe is so much more than a turkey knock-off. Fall and Thanksgiving is a time for savoury: sage, oregano, thyme, rosemary – all of these herbs promise the warmth and comfort of this time of year. These patties, with a good gravy and some cranberry sauce, hit all the sweet spots of the season, minus the bird. I plan on pulling this one out at Christmas too! 

I, Yoga

Recipe: Peanut Butter Pretzel Ice Cream

I’ve posted a lot about the “F” words these last few months – and no, I’m not talking about THAT “F” word! The “F” words I’m referring to are “food” and “feelings” –  I think it’s time to discuss another factor of the whole eating/body image thing, and that’s the BODY part of the equation. This is, after all, a blog with “yoga” in the title right? Feeling feelings and feeling physical sensations of hunger and fullness relate directly to being present in the body. That’s where yoga comes in.

I was recently sharing my healing journey with a dear friend, and I spoke a lot about how yoga was such an integral part of that process. I can remember having epic binges and still managing to drag my butt to a yoga class feeling absolutely physically awful. Why, you might ask? Because every time I did yoga, I was able to connect with a little piece of self love and compassion inside myself – a pleasant break from the self-castigation, shame, and guilt that was the typical post-binge script. Not only that, but I was also able to release emotionally whatever it was that had triggered the binge in the first place. Being made to sit still and breathe (even if my breath was shallow because my belly was so full!) connected me to those emotions that had been begging for my attention the entire time.

After a binge, sometimes that last place we want to be is in our bodies, feeling the horrible physical aftermath of the destructive behaviour we’ve just engaged in. We don’t want to move and be reminded of how uncomfortable and gross and “fat” we feel. But staying away (from the yoga mat and our bodies) isn’t going to bring us “home” to our true selves. It’s only going to increase the numbness and thicken our callus of self-loathing. We NEED to connect. Every time we connect to that place of love, we peel away another layer of the fear and the numbness is weakened. And it doesn’t need to be yoga – it can be anything that brings you into your physical self: dancing, tai chi, qigong, walking, painting. The only requirement is that it be gentle, and that it incorporates breath work and inner stillness.

One word of advice: DO NOT go to a yoga class that is competitive! Find one where you feel it is safe to be you. One where you don’t have to wear the latest yoga fashions or be a size 2, and one where you are allowed the freedom to express your emotions and authenticity.

Go forth and do yoga!

BRY

Okay, so I made ice cream. Again. I know that someone, somewhere, has the job of coming up with all of the flavours put out by the major ice cream manufacturers and I’m sure they’d pay me big bucks for this one. Though if that person is truly good at what they do, they would have already thought up this one! I took a recipe from The Veganomican, peanut-butterized it and then had the brilliant insight to add pretzels! Who doesn’t love that sweet and salty combo?

If you don’t have an ice cream maker (I got mine for $10 off of kijiji), then you can take it out of the freezer and give it a good stirring every twenty minutes or so until it’s firm.