The Elbow Approach

When we think things “should” be a certain way, we interfere with flow. We aren’t trusting the process, and we aren’t embracing the beauty of what is.

Whenever that part of me kicks in with its feelings of entitlement and grandiosity, I feel like suddenly I’m elbowing my way through life, trying to get through, to get what I want – before someone else gets it first! It’s like this monster inside me comes to life (a relative of that other monster that always needs to be right) – it’s determined, future-oriented, and incredibly ego-based. It says “this is what I want, I want it NOW, and this is how I’m going to get it” (elbow, elbow, elbow).

But since when did we get to decide what lessons we need to learn? Last time I checked, there is waaaay too much that is out of my control for me to even try, as much as I would like to think I can control all things in my life. This can be confusing, especially when there is a lot of new age banter around the idea of “intention” – but there’s a difference between setting an intention, and trying to exert your will on a situation or resisting what is. We forget that everything is perfect. RIGHT NOW! That’s right: Exactly as it is!

When we fight flow, we create frantic energy, because what we are really communicating is that we don’t trust what is and that we are okay where we are. In turn, we don’t honour our process by giving it the time and space it needs to unfold. Sometimes we have to sit. Sit with grace and not do, but let be. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve or change, and pointing ourselves in that direction. But the more we sit in the present, the more we come to understand that things are working themselves out WITHOUT our so-called “help.”

So… can we tell the difference between setting an intention versus exerting our will to control a situation? Ask yourself these questions: How’s your food? Is it frantic? Are you in control overdrive? If yes, chances are this is just a reflection of other areas in your life where your attempts to control are failing. Are your actions being met half way by the universe, or are you coming up against resistance? This too can be a really good indicator of how “in the flow” you are living. Look at the signs and listen!

Here’s a nice, simple salad that I’m sure has been done somewhere by someone, some time before. But what do I know? I’m just riding the flow.

Balsamic Strawberry Summer Salad

This salad is fantastic if you can use garden fresh or organic strawberries – you know, the ones that aren’t the size of a small planet. I initially thought the parm/sunflower combination would be overkill, but now I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I rarely eat dairy, but this is lovely exception.

1 cup whole ripe strawberries

5 cups fresh spinach, washed and stemmed

½ cup mushrooms, sliced

¼ cup sunflower seeds, raw

¼ cup parmesan cheese (optional)

½ cup balsamic vinegar

2 tbsp olive oil

½ tsp freshly ground pepper

  1. Place strawberries in a bowl with vinegar and crush gently with a fork. You still want them to be whole, but a bit broken. Let marinade for 15-30 minutes.
  2. Assemble the rest of the ingredients (except for olive oil) in a salad bowl.
  3. Once strawberries have finished marinating, remove from vinegar with a fork and add to salad.
  4. Add olive oil to remaining vinegar and whisk with fork. Drizzle over salad to coat – you will likely have some leftover. Toss and serve.



One thought on “The Elbow Approach

  1. I´m pretty sure you are writing my emotional biography! Having not that much to worry about in my present head space, and having lots of thinking time, these are the things like I have unearthed and acknowledged (though far less elloquently) in my me-time.

    Thanks for the clarity lovely girl!

    M xo

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