It is SO easy to assume the worst about someone. We are primed and ready. We can be quick to find fault in others, why? Because we are experts at finding it within ourselves! Rather than choosing to see someone in his or her innocence, we cast onto them wrong-doing and guilt, as then somehow feel justified in doing so. I’ve caught myself a few times over the last couple of weeks making unfair assumptions about another person, assumptions that overlooked a person’s innocence. I was humbled in both instances by how wrong I was. And let’s say our assumptions are founded and that someone’s behaviour was not cool — well, rarely is it that person’s intention to be hurtful in her actions. Inconsiderate, sure. But to maliciously set out to cause harm? Not likely.
If we break away from the right or wrong, all or nothing thinking, we can hold our own innocence and that of others before all else. In between the extremes of moral superiority exists the grey area that opens us up to true empathy and compassion. That in-between area is the bridge. It’s in that space that we are able to take a step back, assess the situation and how we wish to approach it. If we choose to have a conversation, it is in this space that we will be able to find a creative way of doing so from a place of neutrality. Instead of firing off accusations, which only serves to put up walls between people, we can have a conscious conversation that creates dialogue and understanding, and ultimately strengthens your relationship.
Choose to see the innocence in yourself and others. Be the compassion and the bridge that gets you there.
I had a crazy wicked craving for tempura the other day. No sooner had I resigned myself to find the nearest sushi place and pick some up, it occurred to me — why not make it myself!? Alicia Silverstone included a recipe for tempura in her cookbook, but that’s Alicia Silverstone — she probably has a Japanese restaurant with a full line of sushi chefs at the back of her house. I’ve always shied away from deep frying — visions of hot oil splashing onto various surfaces (including the skin!) and grease fires have held me at bay. Until now. That’s correct. I made tempura. And….WOW! I based my batter on Alicia’s, but used spelt instead. Apparently there is a whole tempura home kitchen culture out there, so google around for all sorts of tempura tips. Here’s the recipe I used.
Mixed veggies (thinly sliced yams, broccoli, carrots, peppers, onions)
For the batter
1 and 1/3 cup spelt flour
1 cup cold water
1 and 1/2 tbsp arrowroot powder
Simmer 1/4 c tamari with 1 cup water and freshly grated ginger.
1 cup grapeseed oil or enough to fill 2 inches of a deep pot
Cut veggies and leave them uncovered so that they are dry on the surface (this helps batter stick). Slowly heat oil. Apparently it is hot enough when a piece of battered veg has a batter explosion upon impact, or when a flick of water gets a reaction. Dip veggies in batter one at a time and gently lower them in. Don’t over crowd the pan! Once crispy, remove with tongs into a sieve, then place on a paper towel layered plate. Eat immediately!