You may only get one shot at it, so you may as well be you. As I prepare to turn 30, I reflect on the ways I still say yes when I want to say no or when I silence a preference or opinion for fear of creating discomfort – luckily I can say that happens less and less the older I get, but it still happens. All that “yay-saying” creates anger and resentment, and before we know it, we find ourselves seething at something (or someone!) totally unrelated! The resentment from our yay-saying ways can often mutate into passive aggressive behaviour as we struggle to regain the power we gave up when we didn’t give voice to our truth.
Do you think you could ask for what you want 100% of the time? Whether you get what you want 100% of the time isn’t the point. The point is that you think your needs and wants are worth advocating for and that they are important, that YOU are important. Even when someone tells us “no,” we are left empowered as we decide what that information means for us. It’s a win-win, really. With nothing to lose, are you still not going to ask for what you want?
Icing!! I want icing!! I like to have my cake, yes – but really, I just like my icing. People who have known me for years will know that it’s not uncommon to find me hunkering down at the end of the dinner table with a small piece of my favourite cake under an avalanche of icing (or a bowl of icing on the side!). Not cheap, hydrogenated icing, mind you – nay, I’m more interested in the cream cheesey icings of the world. I’ll have dairy cream cheese occasionally, but I have often used Tofutti, a soy vegan substitute. The problem with Tofutti is that it costs around $5 for a little tub: it was becoming harder and harder to afford to have my icing and eat it (mass -quantity-style) too! This is precisely why I came up with this recipe!
1 package silken tofu
½ cup cashews
¼ tsp sea salt
Juice of lemon
¾ cup icing sugar (add more for desired thickness)
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp coconut oil
Blend together the first four ingredients. This is your cream cheese base. Now jazz it up by adding the vanilla and coconut oil, adding the icing sugar a bit at a time. Blend until smooth and refrigerate until it’s “time.”