All of us have been hurt and will be hurt, and all of us have caused others to hurt. It’s next to impossible to traverse life’s journey without encountering the basic human emotion of pain. When we suffer from the need to please we may be very aware of how our actions affect others, to the point where we do not assert firm boundaries and we compromise what is important to us to prevent hurting others. On the flipside, we may be completely oblivious or unsympathetic to how our actions impact others. We may decide we are not responsible for someone else’s feelings and this detachment can be equally damaging as it absolves us of the human imperative to do no harm. In almost any situation there is a way to be kind and caring while still being true to ourselves. So the hurt happened–now what?
First step: we must own our hurt. We have to; no one else can own it for us. We are constantly interacting with our environment, reacting and responding; how we choose to respond is 100% us and 0% the other person. If you need to wallow in the victim, do it for a while and then let it go. Nurture the part of you that hurts without getting caught up in blaming the person or situation that caused you hurt. Forgive if you can; if you can’t, pray for the ability.
Second step: Move on. That’s it. You can let your hurt define you and your relationships, but this will only dampen your ability to love deeply. Alternatively, you can recognize that we all make mistakes, that we are all doing our best. Be generous to the other person. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they did not mean to hurt you. And if you suspect it was intentional, then have compassion for that person, who may very well be hurting themselves.
This is not intended to sound callous or excuse mean behaviour. But no matter what happens to you, you are still you. So what are you going to do with the hurt?
A little celebratory weekend in the Okanagan inspired a pancake breakfast which demonstrated resourcefulness at its best. We had the basic ingredients (spelt flour and baking powder) but had to get creative when it came to a milk substitution. Luckily I had on my person some coconut butter (don’t leave home without it!) and was able to dilute that with some warm water to make a creamy coconut milk that took the pancakes the distance! Combined with fresh strawberries and whip cream, these pancakes pushed the pancake-craving button and then some! They aren’t really anything to write home about, but if you find yourself needing to make a small batch of pancakes with minimal ingredients, you might want to give these a whirl.
Pancakes in a Pinch
- 1 cup spelt flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/8 tsp salt
- Sprinkle of cinnamon
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 tsp coconut butter mixed with 1 cup hot water
- 1 tsp coconut oil (skimmed from the top of my coconut butter) and some for frying
Whisk together your liquid concoction with your coconut oil until well combined. Mix together your dry ingredients. Add wet to dry. On a pre-heated pan or griddle, scoop on your pancake batter forming 3-4 medium-sized pancakes. Cook until the edges look firm (about 4 minutes on medium-low heat) and flip to cook for 2-3 minutes more. Serve warm with fresh fruit and cream, or peanut butter and maple syrup!