Attaching to Hurt (and Pancakes in a Pinch!)

pancakes and whip cream crop

All of us have been hurt and will be hurt, and all of us have caused others to hurt. It’s next to impossible to traverse life’s journey without encountering the basic human emotion of pain. When we suffer from the need to please we may be very aware of how our actions affect others, to the point where we do not assert firm boundaries and we compromise what is important to us to prevent hurting others. On the flipside, we may be completely oblivious or unsympathetic to how our actions impact others. We may decide we are not responsible for someone else’s feelings and this detachment can be equally damaging as it absolves us of the human imperative to do no harm. In almost any situation there is a way to be kind and caring while still being true to ourselves. So the hurt happened–now what?

First step: we must own our hurt. We have to; no one else can own it for us. We are constantly interacting with our environment, reacting and responding; how we choose to respond is 100% us and 0% the other person. If you need to wallow in the victim, do it for a while and then let it go. Nurture the part of you that hurts without getting caught up in blaming the person or situation that caused you hurt. Forgive if you can; if you can’t, pray for the ability.

Second step: Move on. That’s it. You can let your hurt define you and your relationships, but this will only dampen your ability to love deeply. Alternatively, you can recognize that we all make mistakes, that we are all doing our best. Be generous to the other person. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they did not mean to hurt you. And if you suspect it was intentional, then have compassion for that person, who may very well be hurting themselves.

This is not intended to sound callous or excuse mean behaviour. But no matter what happens to you, you are still you. So what are you going to do with the hurt?

pancakes and whip cream 2

A little celebratory weekend in the Okanagan inspired a pancake breakfast which demonstrated resourcefulness at its best. We had the basic ingredients (spelt flour and baking powder) but had to get creative when it came to a milk substitution. Luckily I had on my person some coconut butter (don’t leave home without it!) and was able to dilute that with some warm water to make a creamy coconut milk that took the pancakes the distance! Combined with fresh strawberries and whip cream, these pancakes pushed the pancake-craving button and then some! They aren’t really anything to write home about, but if you find yourself needing to make a small batch of pancakes with minimal ingredients, you might want to give these a whirl.

Pancakes in a Pinch

  • 1 cup spelt flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • Sprinkle of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp coconut butter mixed with 1 cup hot water
  • 1 tsp coconut oil (skimmed from the top of my coconut butter) and some for frying

Whisk together your liquid concoction with your coconut oil until well combined. Mix together your dry ingredients. Add wet to dry. On a pre-heated pan or griddle, scoop on your pancake batter forming 3-4 medium-sized pancakes. Cook until the edges look firm (about 4 minutes on medium-low heat) and flip to cook for 2-3 minutes more. Serve warm with fresh fruit and cream, or peanut butter and maple syrup!

imperfection parfaite (and spelt crepes with two fillings!)

It has felt like forever since I’ve posted, but I’m still alive! In fact, my reasons for not posting have a lot to do with some good ol’ all or nothing thinking going on: “I can’t post unless I’ve cooked something amazing AND have taken photos AND written a great post!” I can’t post something unless it’s PERFECT! And let me tell you, things have been so busy over this last little while, it’s all I can do to feed myself, let alone cook, create, and document! After chatting with some of my ladies about how I had neglected the blog and how much I missed it, I realized I was not exactly practicing what I preached and “being real”! It has been a cool opportunity to catch myself in some old scripts and realize how I want to present this image of “having it altogether” to you all, and, let’s be real here—how real is that!? I needed to put my “should list” to the side and just show up, and so here I am. Isn’t it all just about showing up? Whether it’s for your blog, a yoga class, a party, a loved one, or for yourself, we owe it to the world to show up and be real. So all that to say, I’m back, I’m here – showing up and minus the self-imposed perfectionism and all-or-nothing antics—and let’s see what this new “imperfection parfaite” bloggin’ B looks like.

Yep, somebody did this.
Yep, somebody did this.


Paris spread
and this…

We had a party. A Paris-themed staguette brunch, to be exact—to honour our bride’s inner café sitting, Siene strolling, cigarette smoking, baguette caressing, croissant devouring self before she graces down the aisle! Above is what happens when you get a bunch of creative and classy Paris-chique women in a room and ask them to cook something. I made the crepes (vegan, spelt flour of course) and two fillings to accompany: fresh blueberry maple compote and an asparagus, mushroom goat cheese savoury. I found a great crepe recipe in a recent cookbook purchase, which I will share with you here, along with the two fillings I came up with (both super easy).

Oui, this happened too....
Oui, this happened too….

Spelt Crepes (from the highly recommended 30-Minute Vegan)

1½ cups spelt flour

½ tsp sea salt

1 tbsp tapioca flour or arrowroot (I used arrowroot)

2 ½ cups water

1 tbsp neutral oil and more for cooking

Combine dry ingredients and stir to combine. Whisk in wet ingredients until batter is smooth. Using 1/3 cup measure, spoon batter over crepe pan rotating pan to cover and filling in any holes with extra batter if need be. Cook until the edges start to dry and then flip (you’ll know you’re using enough oil and the crepe is ready when you can flip it without a spatula doing the fancy “crepe in the air” trick. I had help from a handsome man on the cooking part, and my crepes turned out wonderfully–I definitely recommend help from a handsome man for this step. Cook crepes and stack with a piece of parchment in between each crepe. These can be eaten cold or re-heated as necessary.

Blueberry Maple Compote

2 cups blueberries

1 tbsp maple butter

½ tsp vanilla

Heat blueberries over medium heat in a small pot until they begin to get liquidy and bubble. Add maple butter and keep cooking on a low simmer until thick. Turn off heat after 3-5 minutes and add vanilla. Scoop into crepes (add ice cream?!) and …. Ready!

Asparagus, Mushroom Goat Cheese Savoury (with vegan option)

2 cups sliced mushrooms

1 cup asparagus pieces

1 scallion

¼ cup fresh basil

1/3 cup goat cheese (or try toasted pine nuts processed into a crumble for vegan version)

1 tbsp olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

In frying pan, heat olive oil and sauté scallions and mushrooms over medium heat until mushrooms sweat (5 minutes or so). Add asparagus and cook another couple of minutes, stirring often. Remove from heat and stir in basil, goat cheese (or pinenuts), salt and pepper. Line crepes and roll. Oui oui mes amis!

The Driver’s Seat (and Banana Ballz)

Are you that person sitting in the back seat of your life while your binge behaviour reigns free on the highway? One of the reasons why binge eating fills us with despair is that we feel powerless in the face of it. Not only to do we feel like we don’t have control, but we don’t think we CAN have control. It’s like being in a small rickety wooden boat with no oars in the throes of a storm; survival is our prime concern as we are pummelled about, trying frantically to bail out the water in between gripping the sides of the boat to brace for the next wave.

We may feel completely at the mercy of our binges, not knowing when or where they might strike, or, conversely, knowing exactly when they will and not knowing (or wanting) an alternative to that outcome; let’s face it—binging serves a purpose, does it not? Be it to comfort and soothe, to numb, to perpetuate a guilt/shame cycle, to reinforce feelings of low self worth—a binge can check all of these boxes for us. In an attempt to regain a sense of control, we may starve ourselves or commit to a rigid way of eating like a diet, only to find ourselves in binge mode by night time. I lived like this for years, and let me tell you, it’s a full time job.  Just like being in that wooden boat, in the thick of binge behaviour it is all about survival.

Every so often we need a little reminder that the binge is not the one in the driver’s seat. WE ARE. This idea may seem far from the truth of your experience, but I assure you that you do have a say! And it starts by saying YES to it all (the good and the bad) and then finding room within that yes to negotiate a different experience. In future posts, I will cover what stepping back into the driver’s seat actually looks like and some strategies that can help us get there. For now, I’ll leave you with a recipe that will, if nothing else, make your tummy shout “this is the shizzle!”

Banana Ball Goodness

Banana Ballz

(inspired by Dreena Burton, Laura of Dharmamarket fame, and all things raw and round)

These little guys are perfect for breakfast on the go, or a mid-morning snack. Or any time really. They are, quite simply, perfect!

  • 1 ripe-ish banana
  • 4-5 soft mejdool dates
  • 1 tbsp coconut butter (manna)
  • ½ cup finely shredded dried coconut + ¼ cup for coating
  • ¼ cup oats
  • ¼ tsp sea salt
  • 1 heaping tbsp. ground flax
  • 1 heaping tbsp. chia seeds
  • 1/3 cup dark vegan chocolate chips

Whiz the banana and dates together in your trusty food processor until smooth. Add the remaining ingredients (except for the chippers) and process. Add the chips and pulse through. The dough will be quite moist. Take in your hands and shape into balls. Place the remaining coconut in a small bowl, and roll the balls to coat. Place on a parchment or silipat-lined tray and refrigerate to set. These can be stored in the freezer for a few weeks, or 3-5 days in the fridge. YUMMM!