Today let’s talk about power. Many of us feel powerless around food. Have you ever noticed your food stuff flares up when you feel powerless in other areas of your life too? So what’s the deal with power?Read More »
Many of us know the importance of setting boundaries: boundaries are how we take care of ourselves and communicate that our needs are important. We are entitled to assert boundaries without qualification or justification. Boundary setting gets easier the more we do it; we are often surprised by how receptive and respectful people are in response to them. Unfortunately, this is not always the case! The people with whom we set them with may not always like our boundaries, and that’s fine and normal. But sometimes we are met with raw anger, guilting, sulking, or a stream of emotionally charged reactions. This is what I call (cue the music) a ‘boundary blowback.’
If you are like me, these types of reactions might cause you to question your position or the validity of your needs, as the focus shifts from your needs/boundaries to the reaction of the person you are communicating with. A wise friend explained this as “de-selfing,” which happens when another person, via anger, guilt or other wounded behaviours, insinuates that our feelings are not important and that our position is negotiable. We start to wonder if the other person is right. Was I too harsh? Should I say yes instead? Maybe I could do x,y,z, just this once…..
The challenge in the face of blowback is to stand your ground. Acknowledge the feelings of the other, and then lock down on your boundary. You can even ask yourself “did I communicate with respect and sincerity? Did I make my position and my needs clear?” If you can answer yes to both of these questions, then you’ve done your groundwork; the reactions of others belong to them, not to us.
Setting boundaries takes courage. But what takes even more courage is holding firmly to your truth in the face of boundary blowback. Your needs ARE important, and are NOT negotiable. This is what looking after you is all about!
Beet, Buckwheat, and Parsley Raw Pizza Crust (ish)
What is negotiable, however, are the toppings you choose to put on this delectable raw pizza crust made from beets and buckwheat. Haha, I know what you’re thinking – “beets and buckwheat”? It doesn’t exactly call one home like “apple pie” – but this crust is a perfect and subtle base from some more poignant pizza toppings like pesto, sundried tomatoes sauce and cashew “cheese.” Think of this crust as the podium, and let the toppings do the talking, I say! This recipe is still in need of some fine tuning, but it was inspired by some raw pizza I had on a recent trip.