The hush-hush relapse (and “date for one” dessert)

Are you tip-toeing around with your eating disorder not wanting to wake anyone up? Depending on where you are at in your recovery, you may have already told the people that are close to you that you are struggling with your food. But what happens when we progress down the recovery road and still have struggles despite everyone around us thinking we kicked this thing?

As I have mentioned in past posts, this food thing may always be with you to some degree, in some manifestation—and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Over time we learn to listen to what it is actually trying to tell us so we can feed ourselves that which we are really hungry for. The most important thing about relapse is that we keep going, we move on fast. And, we tell someone.

If we’ve been in recovery for a while, it can be humbling and extra hard for our perfectionistic selves to admit to another person that we aren’t perfect, that we don’t have it all together—that we fell and it’s hard right now. Not everyone is going to understand your eating disorder—in fact, it’s likely most people won’t. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep quiet about it. Find a compassionate friend or two that you can let in on what’s going on. It may even turn into a conversation that takes you into what’s behind the food. The important thing is to drop the shame around it and reach out by breaking your silence. That is how we keep on healing.

With so much going on in my life right now, sitting down to write a blog post feels like pure shameless self-indulgence! For some people it’s chocolate, for me it’s this (with a little chocolate on the side, perhaps!). You might think this recipe is a bit of a cop-out since it’s so simple (simple has become my diet these days) but I assure you, you will quickly uphold this as your new favourite snack or dessert.

It’s “A Date” Bite!

1 plump mejdool date

1 tsp almond butter

Pinch of sea salt (optional)

4-5 chocolate chips

Spread the date apart with your fingers and remove the pit. Fill the open crevice with almond butter, sprinkle your salt, and line up your chocolate chips. Consume in one or two bites. Done deal!